The Definition of Child Support

Billionaire Donald Bren is in court this week facing his children who are suing for back child support. The case is a little unconventional in the fact that Bren has provided for the children financially since they were born and they are now adults aged 22 and 18. Their claim is that they received substantially less than they would have received with court-ordered child support based on his income and that they are entitled to $134 million. However, the children acknowleged in court that Bren paid for the children’s private school, college education, private and his daughter even said that she never lacked material things growing up in Beverly Hills.


I can’t begin to understand the privileged world of the super-rich and it would be easy to dismiss this case as another spoiled-rich-kid temper tantrum but I’m not sure that we want the courts to be the sole voice in determining what makes a good parent. It’s a dangerous precedent that could be set with this case.

I will be the first to agree that there are scores of dead-beat fathers that abandon their children and refuse to pay anything toward their support until they’re hauled into court and ordered to pay by the judge. And they are better actors than Brad Pitt when they say that they honestly believe $138 per month can provide for their children’s material needs. Their ex-wives desperately need the court system to order them to be a parent since they obviously have no clue how to do that on their own.

But there are men out there who are willing to provide for their offspring, even if they are the minority. They split costs on medical bills, take the kids clothing shopping when they have visitation, and write a fat check each month to make sure that their kids have a safe roof overhead. When men are willing to partner with their ex-wife to provide for the children, then the parents can make decisions together about what’s best for the children.

I have no knowledge about Donald Bren’s relationship with his children’s mother but, from outside appearances, it looks as if both parents made sure that their children received what they needed. They got food, clothing, a very nice lifestyle, and a good education. What they didn’t get were private jets and yachts and obscene amounts of money at their disposal. Bren could have given it to them but he probably thought that it wasn’t best for his children and, based on lives of the Lindsay Lohan’s of the world, he’s probably right. His son testified in court that he didn’t feel deprived because he never traveled in a private jet or on a yacht like his father, he just had a happy and healthy childhood. And shouldn’t that be every parent’s goal?

If the court rules against Bren then it sets precedent that all child support should be mandated by a judge. This will discourage good fathers from being involved in their children’s lives and providing as needed, and encourage them to write the minimum check each month instead. When that becomes the norm then our children become the victims. Every hands-on parent knows that teenagers are more expensive than toddlers, some children want to participate in expensive sports and activities, and that support doesn’t end just because they turn 18. I applaud good parents everywhere and I especially applaud divorced parents who still work together for the best interest of the children. I just don’t want the courts to discourage that type of co-parenting. We already have too many children out there with single parents.