I Didn't See It Coming

I seriously never thought that I would be chasing a five-year-old down the street in my car, but that’s exactly what I was doing on Friday afternoon. The entire time I was thinking, how could a reasonably capable woman like myself be completely flummoxed by a tiny child? The answer, she was a strong willed tiny child.


It all happened when my daughter needed a friend and proceeded to try and get me to be that friend. She started by asking me to play dolls or puzzles or something (I wasn’t exactly listening) and then, when I didn’t respond she’d sit next to me and push my nose with her finger. This was followed by a banana fanna name game that made it almost impossible for me to concentrate on my writing. After several hours of having a little talkative shadow following me, I’d had enough.

So I imported a friend—for me. I mean, I imported a friend to play with her but it was really for my sanity. I drove over and picked her up and then I went back to my work, content with the fact that they would be dressing as princesses and pushing doll buggies around the house but thankfully they wouldn’t be bothering me.

This blissful state lasted about fifteen minutes before my daughter came running up to me crying and muttering a hurried string of unrecognizable words. When I finally got her calmed down enough to speak actual English, she told me that she and her friend had gotten in a fight and her friend was now missing. I laughed and figured that she couldn’t have gone far—she must be hiding in a bathroom or something. Boy was I wrong.

That little girl had taken off and was navigating her way down busy roads. I chased her down in my car and still couldn’t get her to stop. She was mad and she was going to walk herself straight home and tell her mom. Finally, I talked her into my car and took her home, apologizing and explaining just in case word got back to her mother that a crazy woman was chasing her daughter down the street. And I thought, I couldn’t have imagined that this would be my life.

You let a man slip a ring on your finger and you make plans for this amazing life filled with kids and pets and vacations without really understanding what you’ve gotten yourself into. I guess it’s good that we don’t know because I’m pretty sure if I was clairvoyant I would have had the good sense to just stay in bed on Friday because soon after I chased down a kindergartener, I had to take my son to the emergency room for stitches. He injured himself while playing with his air-soft gun. I didn’t see that coming either.