The Conspiracy Against Parents

I swear there is a conspiracy against parents. We get spoon fed the guilt trip about how we need to be involved in our children’s lives and spend quality time with them. So we rush around, taking time off work so that we can watch our children parade around their school in their costumes. The flyer comes home, giving us exact times for each “event” we are expected to support, but with each line you realize that they aren’t doing parents any favors. School starts at nine, so you have to drop them off at 8:50. The parade is at 9:30—not enough time in between to do anything. You can’t even run to the office to check emails before you’re expected back at the school with your camera smiling like an idiot with the other parents that have been shackled into this quality time with their children. However, I have a kindergartener. Which means that I have to return to the school at 11:45 if I’m going to watch her parade through the halls. Never mind that we’re also attending a Halloween party tonight, and get to see them in their costumes again on the actual holiday while we encourage our children to accept candy from strangers. Insane? You bet.


While my children were downing bowls of high-sugar cereal this morning, the television was advertising an amazing family event. Spend lots of money to see ice skaters dressed up as your favorite cartoon characters as they “sing” and “dance.” It’s a night of fun for the whole family. Is it just me or has the guilt turned our brains to mush? Aren’t cartoon characters fake? Really? Quality family time is watching Dora the Explorer ice skate? I remember the quality family time I was subjected to as a child. Generally it involved raking leaves or washing cars. When we participated in extracurricular activities, my mom dropped us off and picked us up afterward. Now when I take my son to wrestling practice the walls are lined with parents desperate to prove that they love their children enough to not miss a second of their lives. I’m pretty sure my mom signed us up for stuff so that she could run to Walmart without a bunch of kids begging her to buy things we didn’t need.

Did that sort of hands-off parenting that we were subjected to really ruin all of us? I remember long stretches of days where we were expected to entertain ourselves. Now my kids practically freak out if non stop entertainment isn’t available on demand. I hate to take the blame for this, but I have to. We’re so freaked out that our kids are going to be kidnapped that we won’t let them ride their bikes. And we’re so worried that our children are going to be stunted in their growth that we’re willing to spend large parts of our days shuttling them from one worthy activity to another.

Maybe that’s why the school didn’t consider parent schedules whatsoever. They’re so used to parents accepting anything they dish out as long as it’s accompanied by a side of guilt that it’s become the norm. I’d complain about this to the Principal but I’d get a song and dance about them being considerate of the teacher’s needs first. That, and I’d somehow get roped into running the book fair. I think it’s best if I just keep my mouth shut. I’m heading back to school right now with my camera, so obviously I’m running on guilt overload already.